Sometimes I can't think of a good title.

Comments on my life this week:

*Got my new laptop today! Expensive little bugger.

*Starting to think about the end of Kids Play and the beginning of another school year. (Seven days of work left... I am looking forward to the end but there are a few kids whom I'm going to miss very much, mostly Erin (1st grader)and Taylor (3rd grader))

*Went to my cousins garage sale today and got a bunch of cheap stuff for Lisa and I to decorate our dorm floor since she is RA this year. Hopefully she likes what I picked out!

*My brother loves watching the Olympics.

*I didn't exercise today and I feel like a blob because of it... can't wait to run tomorrow morning. (I wish it was 'acceptable' to run at night... someday, when I move out, I'm going to run all the time at night... its a beautiful thing)





I thought I'd share a little from my journal tonight because I think it reveals a lot of what is going on within me this week. Its mostly me acknowledging the truth I've been given so I could just spend some quiet time with God because it was NOT coming easy tonight. Some days it is so hard to focus on things of heavcn when I feel so submerged in this earth.



My spirit is uneasy tonight. I feel like I can't relax. Can't focus on You. I just want You to clear my mind so I can stop thinking and just breathe You in. I've felt like this all day. I'm sure You're giving me a foretaste of this fall and how much harder it will be to connect with You when there is so much going on around me. Thanks for the preparation... I hope You'll help me handle it then better than I am now. Please look ahead Lord and remove anything that will cause me to distance myself from You... remove needless obstacles and distractions... clear my path so I can keep my eyes on You rather than on what I'm tripping over. I want to be Yours - and thats all. There are still parts within me that resist on a daily basis... random thoughts, evil desires and subconscious motives... I take all of these captive in the Holy Name of Jesus. I submit myself to Your righteous authority in my life. I will NOT fall. I will NOT look to this world for my answers. You alone are worthy. Melt my heart with this truth God... place it as an emblem on my life... in all areas, may I never forget who owns me and at what price I've been bought. I don't want to feel inferior anymore Lord... YOU have made me Your daughter. You have called me Your own. My calling is unique... my life is set apart. I refuse to listen to the voices (including my own, which repeats the lies that Satan whispers over me) that try to dull me down or defeat me in battle by calling me plain, ugly or worthless. These aren't me. These names belong to sinners and I have been cleansed of that title by the Blood of Christ. I no longer need to walk in that. I can walk over it... I can trample it with feet of righteousness. I've been made new. And when my newness sinks into the mud of this world and begins to look dirty or worn, I have been given the promise of restoration by a God whose mercies are new every morning. I take that promise. I take that truth. I desire to live it. To breathe it. To be it. I am enough. What God is doing in me is enough. I will never be able to add to it or take away from it if my heart is in His hands. Every moment I spend worrying or wishing I were someone else is a moment in which I am letting my eyes be entranced by the father of lies rather than MY Abba of truth. I refues to give Satan my attention. He can have no power over me. He can have no part in me. I am owned by Jesus. I belong to Jesus Christ. I will be His now and forever and no one can EVER change that. I've been chosen by God... not by my own goodness or merit but because of His GREAT LOVE. Its a love I can't explain but a love that will consume me like the burning bush... always burning within me but never burning me down.
God, TONIGHT I want to know more of Your love. I feel an urgency to not let this have been a day wasted in all of its busyness. I just want You, ok? Please continue to bring my new nature to the surface as my old self, with all its evil desires, fades away completely. Don't let it simply hide beneath the surface to come back later Lord... just do away with it. I have no use for it if You have no desire for it. Burn me up. Refine me. Lets get to the bottom of my crap... any hindrances, any lessons half-learned... whatever it may be... just get rid of it or finish what You've started that I've gotten in the way of. There's no time for delay in all of this God. Just me + You. Don't let me EVER walk out of Your heart God. I can't afford to live anywhere but in Your presence. I know that my spirit is getting better acquainted with Yours God. I can feel that. I have felt two days of unrest because I didn't take time to let it rest with You. I rest in Your Spirit tonight God. Take me in.