Life inside is quiet today. Not even my e-mail inboxes offer any sort of stimulation. And that's wonderful.
I feel really aware, though, that just because life inside is quiet today does not mean that life is quiet out there.
I'm aware that there are places where crowds gather, and places where cars jam;
I'm aware that there are places where troubles are heavy and anxieties are even more so.
I know that outside of this life, this small town, two-part-time job, live-with-the-family life... there is so much going on out there.
My battle is always with 'why'... not why does it happen... but why should I care?
Somedays I wake up wanting to know everything... to immerse myself in this world's happenings... to engage in culture... to stir myself with global events... to make moves that bring forth change...
And other days... I walk glibly past today's newspaper knowing that even if every word goes unread by my eyes, the world will still turn, events consequent to today's will still occur regardless of my say on the matter, and another newspaper will show up on my doorstep tomorrow.
These inconsistencies in how I react to the world seem to keep me in a position of compromise. Not committing to care but not committing to not care, I just kind of float back and forth between the two and I find myself hoping that I'm not forever at bay.
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