A Crab.

I thought I would come here to admit that I am having such a CRABBY day.
I am sick... and it makes me feel tired... and consumed with crabbiness.


Here are a few more than a few things that I don't really WANT right now:

I don't really want to hear my mom tell me what I should have thought of earlier in that "you-are-so-irresponsible-sometimes" tone.

I don't really want to meet up with a friend to discuss my faults.

I don't really want to think about all the money I am spending on going to Africa in less than two weeks.

I don't really want to BUY MORE CLOTHES to go to a place where I hoped they wouldn't care as much about appearances (just to meet professional standards) (even though second and third graders clearly would NOT care what I wore to school).

I don't really want to feel the kink in my neck anymore.

I don't really want to hear people be all emotional towards me. Or tell me that they will miss me. Especially if they are guys. And especially if I feel they really won't.

I don't really want attention. And I don't really want to give attention. I don't want to think about how life sometimes feels like a big people-pleasing game.

I don't really want to hear one more person ask to hang out before I go.

I don't really want to look in the mirror. Or step on the scale.

I don't really want to be around people. And yet, I don't really want to be alone, either.

I don't really want to look at my to-do and to-buy lists for before I leave.

And today... I don't really want anyone to tell me that I just need to pray about it.

So... call me crazy... but this is what crabbiness does to me.
Aren't you thrilled I would share it with you?