So it wasn't my favorite. . .

As practicum teaching draws to a close (and officially ends tomorrow), I feel okay admitting that it wasn’t the most exciting experience for me. Many of the girls in my cohort loved it… their cooperating teachers, their students, their lesson plans… etc.
I just didn’t feel that way.
It had me discouraged several times throughout the past five weeks… but now, I see that it doesn’t matter that much. For whatever reason, I guess I’m not that interested in teaching 5th and 6th graders in America right now. It didn’t thrill me… I wasn’t motivated to come every day. I didn’t connect with the students very well because I just felt like I didn’t care. I think part of it was because I didn’t have one classroom set of students – I had several different classes of students. So it was hard for me to learn names (most of them I still don’t know) and to get to know the students. Instead of being able to call on someone I would have to point and say, “You, go ahead”… and it just got me down because I don’t think it’s effective to teach like that.

However, I did get to see multiple different teachers and identify where I stand as an upcoming teacher in relation to their teaching styles. I increased my experience instructing from the front of the class. And I finished my junior year of college. So, all in all, it just seems like a win-win situation right now. I have clarified my passions… or non-passions… and can rest in the fact that God still has plans for me.

I’m hoping it is just that I prefer to teach younger kids. I’m hoping that student teaching in Tanzania will be a better fit for me. I’m hoping that I’m not getting a degree in something I would choose not to use. But… whatever His plans are, they are perfect. Maybe not perfect-seeming to me. But I’m not even here to serve myself. And that's what's real.

Whatever comes of this, I’ve learned a lot this year. It seems like every school year brings growth … each year in different ways. I just think it’s great that we are created like that… created to continue to grow and change and improve. Most often, for those following Christ, to grow out of ourselves… to change into him… and to improve the state of our souls as they rely more on the God of Love.

In other thoughts. . .

"If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as one of its own. But because you do not belong to the world and I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you." -- JOHN 15:19

It hated Christ... and like he said, we are no better than our Master (John 15:20) - so why wouldn't it hate us. This world is a complete system, controlled by Satan, that is opposed to everything we believe in Christ. In order to be freed from the world that hates us and wishes destruction upon our souls, we need our eyes to be opened to this Truth. Let's not glaze over Scripture just because it's hard to swallow.

"A so-called Christian civilization gains the recognition and respect of the world. The world can tolerate that; it can even assimilate and utilize that. But Christian life, the life of Christ in the Christian believer: that it hates, and wherever it meets it, it will assuredly oppose it to the death."
-Watchman Nee