Living Superficially

There is nothing more frustrating to me than the realization that I have been living a superficial life for the past two or three weeks. I have been living on my own terms; doing what I want when I want, with hardly a passing glance at what the Lord is doing or what he could be teaching me.
It is not that I want to live like this; to be caught in the grips of my own self-centeredness, to feel like I have no one to turn to at the end of the day because I have turned away from Him, to acknowledge that everyday I am falling short of what 'could be' or 'might have been' if only I would have listened, to realize that I look far more like this world than I do like Christ (and people notice), to feel worthlessly unable to contribute to God's great plan of gifting his people with salvation because I'm not even using my own gift, to avoid any alone or quiet time whatsoever because I know that I will be confronted with these truths and seemingly unable to respond in a God-honoring way.
No, I don't want to live like this... and I know I've been defined by this complacency for far too long. I want a way out.

I read this last night:
Jeremiah 6:14 "They offer superficial treatments for my people's mortal wound. They give assurances of peace when there is no peace."
And I realized that I have been receiving plenty of my own superficial treatments lately. Since I've been unable (by my own lack of effort) to receive from my Healer, I have turned to this world for comfort and satisfaction. ("We know that we are children of God and that the whole world lies under the control of the evil one." - 1 John 5:19) And receiving from this world is like receiving from Satan himself.
I admit. I confess. I have been consumed by things that aren't of God and concerned mostly with myself. I've let weeks pass by without paying heed to God's desires.
I can't say I will be perfect from here on out or even that I have overcome this obstacle, but I do know that my heart's desires are being brought back to their rightful place. I know that growth is in order for this soul and I have to seek and work to gain the ground I've lost.
Yes, salvation is a gift given to us freely, but that doesn't take away the price we pay to be a Christian in this secular world. It doesn't take away the lonely sting of making a right choice when everyone else is making the wrong one. And it certainly doesn't excuse us from seeking God.
The ball is in our court too... we are called to participate. When we choose not to, we become nothing more than superficial people in a superficial society... to that, I can testify.